rionaleonhart | Meanwhile, Ackles Bonds With Lincoln.

Riona: So when Scofield was sharing the cell with Mayhem -
Riona's Brother: Mayhem?
Riona: ...was he not called Mayhem?
Riona's Brother: You mean Haywire?
Riona: ...

AND BY THEN IT WAS TOO LATE; CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY WAS ALREADY FIRMLY ESTABLISHED AS A PRISON BREAK CHARACTER IN MY MIND.

SOMEONE WRITE THE FIC IN WHICH CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY IS SHARING A CELL WITH MICHAEL SCOFIELD. PLEASE. I can't do it; I know basically nothing about Mayhem. But I do know enough to be confident that it would be hilarious.

Chad Michael Murray is sort of the Piers Morgan of the Supernatural real-person fandom, isn't he? Piers Morgan has never actually appeared or even been mentioned on an episode of Top Gear, but he frequently shows up in fanfiction because of a vague connection to one of the presenters; Chad Michael Murray has never appeared on Supernatural, but he is almost omnipresent in the RPF because of his friendship with Jared. Does this mean that I need to write Zombie Chad Michael Murray fanfiction, or just Chad Michael Murray/Piers Morgan? SURELY ONE OR THE OTHER MUST BE THE LOGICAL THING TO DO HERE.

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See, that is exactly what I thought. My only problem is that all I know of Doctor Who I've learned from maybe five episodes and Riona. Eh heh. I'm actually kind of surprised I'm the only one to think of it.

I'd love to see you continue speculating, though! Dance, puppet! Dance!

If I could ignore the bit about the DNA tests, and the question of how the Doctor didn't find him, it'd be easy. Some Time Lord in the war. No one the Doctor even knew. Possibly involved in th dodgy black-ops stuff the Master did in my imagination. A bit loopy and shell-shocked, but not yet at Joker levels of crazy. They go after a Dalek installment, and some sort of time-weapon hits him in the face.

Next thing he knows, he's on Earth. No idea how he got there. No Earth identity set up. His mouth cut up something nasty. And no one around him even knows the war happened, let alone how it turned out. Which is so insane he can hardly stop laughing.

omewhere in here, he starts telling outrageous lies about the scars. And finding out that every one he tells results in not just memories, but evidence for the human lives he's never lived happening. The grave of his non-existent battered mom. A woman who resembles his fictitious scarred wife throwing herself off a building in Gotham. Traces of it keep turning up.

Then the Year that never was happens. For a moment, it feels almost normal. World-destroying wars are what he's used to. He feels on balance again. He even forgets to tell lies about his scar. No one asks about scars under the Toclafane.

Then it unhappens. And everyone goes back to acting like that never happened at all. Except he's a Time Lord. So he can remember it.

At this point he goes completely off the rails, of course. That's why he wants the world to burn. It just makes so much more sense when it's on fire, and people are screaming and dying all around.

Except the Doctor can sense Time Lords, and he didn't sense him. And the DNA sample didn't read as non-human. So it doesn't work.

Man, it works well enough for someone to write amazing fanfiction about it. The Doctor Who writers have handwaved worse things.

As you seem to think the person who should write your mad ideas is me, presumably the person who should write my mad ideas is you, right? You're good at horribly bizarre crossovers.

...Okay that was totally way more than I expected. Awesome!

After a little Wiki-trawling: it's possible he's been, er, pocketwatched, since he does carry one around (or something on a chain, at any rate, though the pictures I'm finding are really unhelpful in identifying it). Which I think would explain both why the Doctor doesn't find him and why his DNA is human? And also why he seems fine with using normal human weapons like knives and guns instead of sonic screwdrivers and things.

But what you and Wiki said seem to point to the conclusion that this whole Chameleon Arch thing submerges the subject's personality, which would mean he wouldn't be crazy as a Time Lord. Hrrrn. Maybe it went wrong and he doesn't have the abilities but it left him with the memories, which might also contribute to him going totally around the bend on Earth because he remembers everything.

On the other hand, there is always the handwave. Helpful, helpful handwave!

Yeah, I'm a bit compulsive like that. Sorry.

And any Time Lord he was would be completely different from him. So it would be an exceptionally sane and non-murderous Time Lord, who probably really would look like Heath Leger. Which is great, because I have no urge to write about that Time Lord, so I'm off the hook!

But what about writing that Time Lord when he becomes himself again and REALISES what he did whilst pocket-watched? If that's not emotional trauma, I'm not sure what is.

Besides, I'm not sure if pocket-watched Time Lords become an opposite. The Doctor was a teacher, which goes with him because he's always trying to get his companions to see the universe and experience new things. The using weapons thing not so much. And Yana was a bit of a loner scientist which goes quite well with the Master.

And any Time Lord he was would be completely different from him. Which is great, because I have no urge to write about that Time Lord, so I'm off the hook!

NICE TRY. The Doctor and John Smith are both sort of gits! And yes, becoming a teacher seems rather Doctorish. There's no real evidence that a pocketwatched Time Lord has to have an opposing personality.

Therefore you have to write the fic.

THERE ARE NO FLAWS IN THIS ARGUMENT.

Don't make me bust out my 'rionaleonhart is pure evil' tag. Because if you make me write this, it's getting the tag.

I'm not sure if writing Who fic that doesn't include the Doctor at all will activate my tendency to get depressed about Doctor Who. The Oliver/TARDIS one didn't, but that may simply have been due to large doses of Oliver. It's impossible to get mopey while writing Oliver-centered fic.

Can the pocketwatch be broken so he sort-of remembers? Not completely, but kind of?

Can the pocketwatch be broken so he sort-of remembers? Not completely, but kind of?

Of course it can! That sounds exactly the sort of thing that might happen in an episode of Doctor Who. Although I'm not sure how reassuring that is.

I've actually come up with two different versions of the Joker's Time Lord past, and am tempted to include both of them, as well as a broken pocketwatch, and a tendency for whatever strange story he makes up on the spur of the moment (abusive dad, scarred wife, murdered sister, etc.) to be subsequently supported by evidence.

Dammit! I wanted to stop writing Doctor Who fic, but I love insane temporal convolutions! And this would be swimming in them!

Man, this is an awesome thing to wake up to. I love that it was spawned from a random thought I had. Pay no attention to my psychotic laughter. Now all I have to do is get somebody to write Dark Knight genderswap and my plan will be complete.

...And it occurs to me that I never actually said 'hi, I've seen you around LJ and your Joker comments tend to be fascinating'. So. Uh, hi! Thank you for taking my random thought and running with it!

Meanwhile, Ackles Bonds With Lincoln.

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