Riona (
rionaleonhart) wrote2011-06-15 09:48 am
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Fanfiction: Geostationary Orbit (Peep Show)
GO AWAY, WRITER'S BLOCK. I'm trying to get myself back into writing; let's see whether this works.
Title: Geostationary Orbit
Fandom: Peep Show
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 780
Summary: Post-series seven. Mark has to adjust to living without Jeremy, or so he thinks.
Notes: Is this what one would call fix-it fic? I suppose in a sense it's break-it fic, because Mark Corrigan is not allowed to be happy.
It’s lovely to have Dobby here, but there’s something very frightening about living with someone he actually likes; it gives him a whole new array of fears to find space for in his mental filing cabinet of terror. He could fuck this up at any time, and he has a lot more to lose now than he did when he was living with Jeremy. Unhealthy though his cohabitation with Jeremy undoubtedly was, it was nice to have someone in his life who was safe, as a fixture if not as an influence. Mark never felt that Jeremy might walk out at any moment if he said the wrong thing; he certainly never feared it. Jeremy may have ruined his life, but at least he did it reliably. And now Mark is living with someone whose continued presence, although infinitely more desirable than Jeremy’s, is in no way guaranteed (he’s considered insuring their relationship by making her sign a twelve-month tenancy agreement, but he can’t help feeling that might not go over too well), and Jeremy is gone.
Or so he thinks.
-
There’s a creaking noise in the middle of the night, and for a moment Mark is convinced they’re being burgled before he remembers that Dobby’s roleplaying session overran. He turns on the light, reluctantly, so she’ll be able to see, and—
Jeremy is frozen in a half-stoop at the side of the bed.
Mark yelps in terror.
“Jesus, Mark,” Jeremy snaps, unfreezing immediately. “Did you have to do that? You scared the shit out of me!”
“I scared the shit out of you?” Mark demands. “Why were you by my bed?”
“Oh, right,” Jeremy says. He leans over to touch his index finger to Mark’s lips. “Go back to sleeeeep,” he says. “You’re having a dreeeeeam.”
“Jeremy,” Mark says, swatting his hand away, “do you honestly think my dreams are characterised by extended vowels? What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Yes,” Jeremy says. “About that.”
There is a pause.
“Yes?” Mark prompts.
“The place I was staying.”
Of course. Mark was a fool to think any living arrangement with Super Hans could possibly have lasted. Putting him and Jeremy together was always going to end badly. There’s probably a smoking crater where Hans’s flat used to be.
A horrible thought occurs to him.
“Is Super Hans going to want to live here?”
“What?” Jeremy asks. “No. God, no.”
“Good,” Mark says. “Because, much though I hate proposing that we leave anyone to die on the street, I’m not sure that’s a situation that would leave us with any alternative.”
“Right,” Jeremy says. “That’s sort of why I’m here, actually. The dying-on-the-street thing.”
Mark eyes him uneasily. “You... killed Super Hans?”
“There was a misunderstanding.”
Oh, Jesus, he actually has killed Super Hans. It was always a matter of time before Jeremy added manslaughter to his long list of extra-legal activities, and now Mark has to deal with the repercussions. Still, if Jeremy had to kill someone, at least it was only Super Hans.
Is that a terrible thing to think? Does that make Mark a terrible person? He wasn’t the actual murderer, at least, so he’s probably still winning in the two-man morality race.
“What sort of misunderstanding?” he asks. “With a knife, or...?”
“You know how I said I was living with Super Hans?” Jeremy asks. “Turns out he... disagreed, and we had a bit of a fight, and I had to sleep under a bridge. For a week. Or two. How long’s it been since I moved out?”
“Oh, my God, Jeremy!” Mark exclaims, sitting up. “You’ve been sleeping on the streets?”
“Well, not actually, obviously,” Jeremy says. “I’m just explaining what I would have had to do so you’ll understand when I tell you that’s why I’ve been sleeping under your bed.”
-
In the end, it’s Mark who ends the relationship. Jeremy’s back in his old room now (even though Mark feels he would have been well within his rights to evict him off the balcony), but whenever Dobby touches him Mark can’t stop thinking of Jeremy hiding under the bed, listening.
It’s a horrible break-up. It was always going to be, of course, but in the event it turns out to be even more horrible than Mark could have anticipated. Years from now, this is going to claw at his stomach. Why the fuck couldn’t he have picked one of the many moments when they weren’t actually in the process of having sex?
God, he wishes Jeremy would stop smiling.
Title: Geostationary Orbit
Fandom: Peep Show
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 780
Summary: Post-series seven. Mark has to adjust to living without Jeremy, or so he thinks.
Notes: Is this what one would call fix-it fic? I suppose in a sense it's break-it fic, because Mark Corrigan is not allowed to be happy.
It’s lovely to have Dobby here, but there’s something very frightening about living with someone he actually likes; it gives him a whole new array of fears to find space for in his mental filing cabinet of terror. He could fuck this up at any time, and he has a lot more to lose now than he did when he was living with Jeremy. Unhealthy though his cohabitation with Jeremy undoubtedly was, it was nice to have someone in his life who was safe, as a fixture if not as an influence. Mark never felt that Jeremy might walk out at any moment if he said the wrong thing; he certainly never feared it. Jeremy may have ruined his life, but at least he did it reliably. And now Mark is living with someone whose continued presence, although infinitely more desirable than Jeremy’s, is in no way guaranteed (he’s considered insuring their relationship by making her sign a twelve-month tenancy agreement, but he can’t help feeling that might not go over too well), and Jeremy is gone.
Or so he thinks.
There’s a creaking noise in the middle of the night, and for a moment Mark is convinced they’re being burgled before he remembers that Dobby’s roleplaying session overran. He turns on the light, reluctantly, so she’ll be able to see, and—
Jeremy is frozen in a half-stoop at the side of the bed.
Mark yelps in terror.
“Jesus, Mark,” Jeremy snaps, unfreezing immediately. “Did you have to do that? You scared the shit out of me!”
“I scared the shit out of you?” Mark demands. “Why were you by my bed?”
“Oh, right,” Jeremy says. He leans over to touch his index finger to Mark’s lips. “Go back to sleeeeep,” he says. “You’re having a dreeeeeam.”
“Jeremy,” Mark says, swatting his hand away, “do you honestly think my dreams are characterised by extended vowels? What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Yes,” Jeremy says. “About that.”
There is a pause.
“Yes?” Mark prompts.
“The place I was staying.”
Of course. Mark was a fool to think any living arrangement with Super Hans could possibly have lasted. Putting him and Jeremy together was always going to end badly. There’s probably a smoking crater where Hans’s flat used to be.
A horrible thought occurs to him.
“Is Super Hans going to want to live here?”
“What?” Jeremy asks. “No. God, no.”
“Good,” Mark says. “Because, much though I hate proposing that we leave anyone to die on the street, I’m not sure that’s a situation that would leave us with any alternative.”
“Right,” Jeremy says. “That’s sort of why I’m here, actually. The dying-on-the-street thing.”
Mark eyes him uneasily. “You... killed Super Hans?”
“There was a misunderstanding.”
Oh, Jesus, he actually has killed Super Hans. It was always a matter of time before Jeremy added manslaughter to his long list of extra-legal activities, and now Mark has to deal with the repercussions. Still, if Jeremy had to kill someone, at least it was only Super Hans.
Is that a terrible thing to think? Does that make Mark a terrible person? He wasn’t the actual murderer, at least, so he’s probably still winning in the two-man morality race.
“What sort of misunderstanding?” he asks. “With a knife, or...?”
“You know how I said I was living with Super Hans?” Jeremy asks. “Turns out he... disagreed, and we had a bit of a fight, and I had to sleep under a bridge. For a week. Or two. How long’s it been since I moved out?”
“Oh, my God, Jeremy!” Mark exclaims, sitting up. “You’ve been sleeping on the streets?”
“Well, not actually, obviously,” Jeremy says. “I’m just explaining what I would have had to do so you’ll understand when I tell you that’s why I’ve been sleeping under your bed.”
In the end, it’s Mark who ends the relationship. Jeremy’s back in his old room now (even though Mark feels he would have been well within his rights to evict him off the balcony), but whenever Dobby touches him Mark can’t stop thinking of Jeremy hiding under the bed, listening.
It’s a horrible break-up. It was always going to be, of course, but in the event it turns out to be even more horrible than Mark could have anticipated. Years from now, this is going to claw at his stomach. Why the fuck couldn’t he have picked one of the many moments when they weren’t actually in the process of having sex?
God, he wishes Jeremy would stop smiling.
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That is hilariously Mark!
do you honestly think my dreams are characterised by extended vowels?
How do you come up with such Mark Corrigan phrases? Because he is the only person in the world who would ask that!
“Right,” Jeremy says. “That’s sort of why I’m here, actually. The dying-on-the-street thing.”
Mark eyes him uneasily. “You... killed Super Hans?”
THAT IS AN ENTIRELY UNDERSTANDABLE SUSPICION!
Is that a terrible thing to think? Does that make Mark a terrible person? He wasn’t the actual murderer, at least, so he’s probably still winning in the two-man morality race.
You do that fascinating mix of creepy and adorable so well that it's amazing!
“Oh, my God, Jeremy!” Mark exclaims, sitting up. “You’ve been sleeping on the streets?”
“Well, not actually, obviously,” Jeremy says. “I’m just explaining what I would have had to do so you’ll understand when I tell you that’s why I’ve been sleeping under your bed.”
BEST SURPRISE TWIST EVER! Seriously, they need to call you and get you to write for the show! This is exactly how things should end!
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How do you come up with such Mark Corrigan phrases? Because he is the only person in the world who would ask that!
Thank you! But also, you know, oh dear. (Peep Show: one of the very few fandoms in which being complimented on my characterisation actually makes me worry about myself.)
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I laughed out loud.
This was great! Loved the twist.
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Poor terrified paranoid perfect Mark, your first paragraph is probably the kind of thing that runs through his head at night as he tries not to watch Dobby sleep because the last time he did that to a girlfriend she called him Edward Cullen and threw him out at midnight.
mental filing cabinet of terror
Lololol obviously he has one of these, it is filled to the brim and on the verge of breaking which is hopefully not a metaphor.
as a fixture if not as an influence
I love how well-crafted your stories are, full of tiny perfect phrases that sparkle with wit and cleverness and character insight.
Also, awww, it's quite sweet how Mark actually can rely on Jeremy, even if it's partly just because Jeremy needs him for food and shelter and life ruinage.
(he’s considered insuring their relationship by making her sign a twelve-month tenancy agreement, but he can’t help feeling that might not go over too well)
Man, his whole existence can be summed up with 'SORRY ABOUT YOUR LIFE, MARK'. I think I could easily treat your fics as some sort of tie-in book series and the show would actually make even more sense. If Mark and Jeremy end up living together again in season 8 and Mark refuses to talk about it or let Jeremy talk about it, THIS WILL BE WHY. You know these screw-ups well.
Like, that whole first sentence includes three flawless character details (if not more, I am a slightly oblivious reader) - Mark is a paranoid who fears burglars, Dobby is the reason the word 'adorkable' was invented, and whenever Mark is kind in a way that inconveniences him he slightly resents it.
Jeremy is frozen in a half-stoop at the side of the bed.
The way you write, just, imagery, is so subtle and clear. It's a masterpiece in succinct.
LOLOLOL JEREMY, SO OFFENDED BY PEOPLE REACTING NORMALLY TO YOUR DISTURBING WAYS. Like, your Mark is obviously amazing, but your Jeremy is his exact absurd selfish thoughtless tricksy self here as well.
And of course he tries to pretend it was a dream in the stupidest way possible. He really does not think, does he? I realise I am mostly just reacting to brilliance, but that is THE HIGHEST OF COMPLIMENTS, because I am basically treating it like an episode.
"do you honestly think my dreams are characterised by extended vowels?"
GREATEST OF ALL THE LINES. I say this a lot, but I was legit taken aback and a little jealous of how amazing this line was/is when I first read it. Because that device - the 'make people think it's a dream by sounding ridiculous' - is well-used enough that Jeremy would think it would work and that Mark would have grown irritated by it, and also enough that I kind of want to flail and wonder why no-one confronted by it has ever reacted so perfectly before. The answer is obviously: they're not Mark Corrigan, and that is a line that comes from the depths of his sooouuul, but nevertheless.
“Is Super Hans going to want to live here?”
GLEEING ALL THROUGH THE SUPER HANS SECTION. Idek what it is - Mark's terror, the idea of Jeremy and Super Hans' terribleness disintegarying buildings, but it builds and builds and builds like A BUILDING OF HILARITY.
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MARK YOU MORALLY DUBIOUS KING OF A MAN. You have his snipey precise tone of cynicism and nervousness locked down.
It is the exact kind of hilarious the show is - pushing things to the limit of ridiculousness and weird-ass twists and these two absurd and absurdly lovable human beings in the middle of it being consistent and hilarious and endlessly tied together.
I also like how Jeremy TOTALLY ISN'T LISTENING as he composes his MASTERFUL EXCUSE PLAN and Mark freaks out.
MAAAAARK. He's always suspected Jeremy would kill someone (not murder, which is...sort of sweet in the circumstances? Like, screwy Mark/Jeremy sweet, which is the only sweet these two ever get)! OF COURSE HE HAS. And he stayed! Sorry sorry will stop shipping in a moment. No, he has because Mark is a suspicious motherfucker and Jeremy honestly deserves suspicion and it's like you live with them in a hole in the wall, noting down their bizarre exchanges.
And he'll deal with the repurcussions!
BECAUSE HE LOVES HIMBecause that's what he does, Jeremy makes enormous messes and Mark cleans them up or helps him hide them.LOLOLOL ONLY SUPER HANS LOL. You are so brilliant at comedy writing, I can't even.
And he worries about being a terrible person and EXCUSES IT WITH 'AT LEAST I'M BETTER THAN A MURDERER' and you have his fusty little way of speaking and he is a man saying absurd things in THAT VOICE and reacting in THAT WAY and oh. He's so adorably paranoid. You manage his little mental spiels so well, and I love how this story is a mix of hilarious dialogue and hijinks and MARK'S PARANOIA JOURNALS.
Lol 'misunderstanding with a knife'. The phrasing there just really amuses me, the delightful oddity of it.
Lol Super Hans disagreed. I like how Jeremy is all hesitant and confused and planning what he says as he says it Mark speaks in PERFECTLY FORMED SENTENCES. I also like how all the things I love could equally be said about the show, and it's a bit like recommending the show except I'm reviewing a fanfic. Which probably makes little sense.
“Well, not actually, obviously,” YES THAT WAS OBVIOUS FROM WHAT YOU SAID, JEREMY. Jeremy is such a terrible person in such hilarious ways. You don't want me to sleep on the street, do you Mark? YOU'RE JUST BEING UNREASONABLE NOW.
'evict him off the balcony' I love his/your turn's of phrase. (That, uh, wasn't meant to imply that you're the same person.)
Iiiiiinteresting. Mark thinking of Jeremy whenever Dobby touches him, and it's UNBEARABLE. It isn't shippy at all, it's deftly creepy and very well done - hilarious creepy, but my shipper brain has gone into overdrive.
Years from now, this is going to claw at his stomach.
Oh Mark. I would hug you but it would just be seriously awkward because I doubt you like hugs and possibly you would just find it horrible. And I am unsure of other ways to comfort fictional characters. Also :((( effective tragic imagery.
Why the fuck couldn’t he have picked one of the many moments when they weren’t actually in the process of having sex?
OH MARK. Idk whether to find this hilarious or terrible, which is a dilemma the show poses frequently, so WELL DONE for basically WRITING THE SHOW DOWN ON PAPER.
God, he wishes Jeremy would stop smiling.
Jeremy you are the worst but I can't really blame you. Also taking this shippily, and the stopping her because he didn't want to come because of Jeremy voyeurism fantasies because what kind of shipper would I be if I didn't take things out of context in a ridiculous manner? A reasonable one, that's what. And who wants that?
WELL DONE ON BEING AMAZING.
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as he tries not to watch Dobby sleep because the last time he did that to a girlfriend she called him Edward Cullen and threw him out at midnight.
Ahahaha, oh, dear, this is exactly the sort of thing that would happen to Mark. And he'd know literally nothing about Twilight, so he'd just be bewildered.
AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO THE REST OF THIS BECAUSE I AM BLUSHING TOO MUCH. I have the most ridiculous grin. You are endlessly, endlessly lovely.
He's always suspected Jeremy would kill someone (not murder, which is...sort of sweet in the circumstances? Like, screwy Mark/Jeremy sweet, which is the only sweet these two ever get)!
Ahahaha, I spent far too long considering whether to use 'murder' or 'manslaughter' there. Jeremy's not a murderer, I feel, but he could definitely kill someone.
Sorry sorry will stop shipping in a moment.
Don't ever stop shipping. Mark/Jeremy is basically my OTP.
Also taking this shippily, and the stopping her because he didn't want to come because of Jeremy voyeurism fantasies because what kind of shipper would I be if I didn't take things out of context in a ridiculous manner?
Ooh, I am intrigued by your ridiculous taking-things-out-of-context.
You have made me far too happy with this review. ♥ ♥ ♥ TIMES A MILLION.
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Jeremy would explain to him, because Jeremy has obv read it while high and thought it was the greatest tragicest romance and based a song on it. Wait, hasn't he only read Mr. Happy? Clearly he went to a hypnotist to forget after he read Breaking Dawn while high and had Renesmee nightmares.
(This may make no sense - it is fairly easy for me to make up nonsense about Mark, because I just think 'what's the worst that could happen?' and go there, but Jeremy is sort of a mixture of the worst and oddly sweet - the Christmas present thing, oh Jeremyyy - and thus I am lost.)
If he killed someone, he would probably blame it on Mark and claim it was for his own good - prison might get him to finally lighten up. And Mark would, idk, get mistaken for a child molester of the same name or accidentally agree to being a drugs mule, and things would get worse and worse. Or maybe he would do surprisingly well because of a misunderstanding where his cellmate died for unrelated reasons and people thought he'd killed him and thus he would be FEARED until Jeremy turned up and was like 'lololol no he makes me kill spiders for him'.
Maybe Mark would be wanking and keep THINKING ABOUT JEREMY and then REALISE IT WAS TURNING HIM ON and be horrified and mortified and maybe Jeremy would decide he actually quite liked it under the bed, and be there when Mark was saying his name and poke his head out and think he'd been found out and be extremely miffed and point out that he hadn't said a word when he'd been subjected to Mark's wanking and Mark would STARE AT HIM HORRIFIED and say something like 'and I'm supposed to be grateful for your invasion of my privacy?' and Jeremy would be all 'for once you understand what I'm saying'.
Wait, Mark is way too repressed to actually say people's names when he's thinking about them ~sexually~ (uh, I think. Canon may contradict me). He'd probably say something like 'Jeremy? Really? All the people in the world you could inappropriately fantasise about living under your bed, and you pick the one who lives in your flat and thinks having a party where people throw up on your bed rather than you is doing you a favour?'
And then maybe Jeremy would pop up every time he tried again, and Mark would try to convince himself he was just totally into voyeurism - maybe he would end up in awkward situations with Super Hans insisting he have sex with a terrifying-looking stranger while he watched. Or internet people. Which is more likely. And Jeremy would find out and OFFER HIS SERVICES for a massive fee and free rent forever, and keep going on and on and on and. Maybe eventually convince him? Idk.
Anyway, hahahaha this is awkwardly long and you are delightful. I really, really wish there was an awkward thumbs-up emoticon.
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I squeaked aloud when I read this. I AM HEREBY IGNORING THE GOOD CHANCE THAT MARK IS TOO REPRESSED TO SAY NAMES DURING MASTURBATION, BECAUSE THIS IS THE BEST IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD.
Oh, dear, Mark would absolutely accidentally become a drugs mule in prison. How are you so brilliant at coming up with Peep Show fic ideas? I think you should employ this power and write some Peep Show fic.
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“Go back to sleeeeep,” he says. “You’re having a dreeeeeam.”
“Jeremy,” Mark says, swatting his hand away, “do you honestly think my dreams are characterised by extended vowels? What the fuck are you doing here?” - No okay I genuinely love you. You have such a fantastic way with words.
Still, if Jeremy had to kill someone, at least it was only Super Hans. - I am reading all of this in David Mitchell's voice and it is delightful.
God, he wishes Jeremy would stop smiling. - This is adorable