Because my shitty manips are too shitty even for a shitty manips post, I give you some Who-related snippets (NOT FROM WsIP, DO NOT MAKE ME EXPAND THEM OHGOD TOO MUCH TO WRITE)

'So let me get this straight? After I died in your arms, you began travelling with someone who has a goatee, snappy dress sense and a low grade psychic ability?'

'Actually,' Derren interrupted, earning himself a furious glare, 'I'm not a psychic. That doesn't exist. And if it did, mine wouldn't be low grade.'

The Doctor shared a look with the newcomer and raised an eyebrow. 'Aren't 21st-century humans quaint?'

'Excuse me,' the newcomer said, ignoring the Doctor,'but I was dramatic monologuing. And talking to the Doctor, not you. If I may continue,' he asked dramatically and (he hoped) rhetorically. 'You, Doctor, picked up this person? You really, really need therapy.'

'Any resemblance betwteen the two of you is entirely coincidental,' the Doctor said, unconvincingly.

'Does he call you Master when he fucks you?'

Derren felt the slight pyschic compulsion to answer, hidden behind a politician's winning smile. 'Why yes, yes he does. Are you here to elucidate, because he really doesn't like discussing it.'

'I am the Master.'

'Oh. Oh.'

'Right, time to be off. Places to see, worlds to rescue. Hamidabong is very nice this time of year, well, the time of year I can make us arrive at. Drinks with umbrellas in them, I know you'll like that, Derren. Poolboys and mysteries and cocktails, a nice little holiday. Off we go.'

---

'Would you... oh god this is going to sound odd, would you ever possibly think about tying me up?'

Derren glanced at him. 'Tying you up in what sense? Tying you up in paprework so you're too busy to have dinner? Tying you up to stop you itching a particularly irritating rash? Tying you up...' He was stalling for time and forced himself to stop - he had a horrible suspicion that he knew precisely what David meant.

'In a 'tie me up and then have sex' sort of way,' David clarified, covering his nervousness with false cheeriness.

'Ah. Tie you up in a 'I've written to a problem page in a tabloid because the excitement has gone out my relationship and they suggested this' way?' Derren tried.

'No. Tie me up in a 'have you any idea how fucking sexy it is when you have your control taken away and know you're in someone else's power' sort of way.'

'No. Absolutely no way. Sorry.' Derren stopped, biting his lip somewhat nervously. 'I... no.'

'Why not? I'll even let you bring out the needles...' David saw Derren's expression and stopped. 'Ok, so we won't. D'you want to talk about it?'

'No. Not really. There... there needs to be a line. And anyway, you wouldn't be thrilled if I asked you to have sex pretending to be the Doctor, would you?' He realised as soon as the words were out of his mouth that this had been absolutely categorically the worse possible diversionary topci of conversation he could have tried. David grinned.

'I though you'd never ask...'

That Merlin one looks...suspiciously natural. And is making me want to do Merlin-characters-with-Pokemon manips.

*cracks knuckles*

(http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v622/cryforthemoon/?action=view&current=derrentardis.jpg)

I know you're not a Watchmen person (yet), but I couldn't help myself. And Ozymandias is pretty, if a bastard:

(http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v622/cryforthemoon/?action=view&current=goodedw.jpg)

You know who I've recently decided is a Time Lady?

Mary Poppins.

Important question: why haven't I written either Jeremy Clarkson/That Nissan That Tried To Take His Head Off (where he wanted it to stick its hand down his trousers and have a rummage) or Jeremy Clarkson/The Abarth That Clearly Reminds Him Of Richard Is Small And Cute And Adorably Tough And Fun?

I can't think of any good reason.

I WOULD have taken part in this round of ridiculous manips, but I have been distracted by a) the need to make summaries out of Immunology book chapters and b) Derren Brown's Tricks of the Mind book which was interesting (I read it in ONE DAY) and I can STILL remember the whole 'imagine a route you habitually take and use it to memorise this list of things you need to do like picking up stamps and getting your suit to the dry-cleaners and telling X to call Y and to get your mobile phone fixed and to feed your parrot and to call Dave and to record some TV programme and to arse about on eBay and then to recheck your VCR'

I DO NOT HAVE A SUIT OR ARSE ABOUT ON EBAY OR HAVE A PARROT OR HAVE THE ABILITY TO RECORD TV PROGRAMMES. So, while knowing a handy mnemonic device, I am now also stuck remembering a list of things I don't even need to do. Thank you, Mr. Brown.

And thank you, Riona, for your EVIL EVIL MINDCONTROLLING INFLUENCE.

Although I did snigger at his selection of demented e-mails. Hurrah for feeling like a vaguely sensible type of fan!