rionaleonhart: final fantasy x-2: the sun is rising, yuna looks to the future. (guess it's my lucky number)
Riona ([personal profile] rionaleonhart) wrote2009-01-04 12:10 pm

DAMN YOU, FORKS.

I am fully prepared to give the Eleventh Doctor a chance, in case that was not clear! He wasn't a choice that particularly excited me, but I don't know the guy, so perhaps he will be the best Doctor ever. Perhaps! I am sort of looking forward to finding out.

To lead into the main subject of this entry, here is a picture of the Eleventh Doctor sparkling like Edward Cullen.

And now I shall talk about the Twilight film, which I saw with [livejournal.com profile] wanttobeatree, [livejournal.com profile] sazzlette and company during the Mancunian Adventure.



I thought that Bella in the film was more likeable than she was in the book, largely because she actually seemed to appreciate her human friends a tiny bit. I'm, er, reading New Moon at the moment, and Bella invites Jessica to see a film with her as a calculated way to stop her father demanding that she try to enjoy herself. She makes it clear in the narration that she's feigning interest in actually spending time with Jessica. She doesn't even consider treating this as an opportunity to actually go out with a friend and have fun. Jessica, who does view Bella as a friend, is just a tool from Bella's perspective. It makes me so angry.

Ahem. Anyway. In the film, although Bella is obviously still much more interested in the vampires than in the humans and her human friends are sometimes portrayed simply as an annoying obstruction, there are still moments when she actually talks to them, moments when she looks at them and thinks about how she has come to enjoy life in Forks. In the film, although Bella is a bit daft, I don't really dislike her.

Also, I enjoyed her clumsiness, because I had spent the past week falling over everything and it helped me feel less alone in my uselessness. Although it did lead to the horrifying revelation that I am Bella Swan, which I could have done without.


Ridiculous things:

THE SPARKLING. There were six of us, and we all burst out laughing. 'THIS IS THE SKIN OF A KILLER.' ([livejournal.com profile] wanttobeatree and I had earlier discussed the possibility of Twilight on ice. Glitter frozen into the ice, Bella falls over a lot, and at the climax Edward rips off his clothes to reveal the sparkly catsuit underneath and shouts 'THIS IS THE SKIN OF A KILLER'. You'd watch it five times and you know it.)

'I've been sneaking into your house and watching you sleep for months.' 'Well, I don't see anything wrong with that.'

When Edward and Bella were cuddling, all I could think of was the beginning of New Moon, when Bella says that Edward's body is as hard and cold as an ice sculpture. That sounds really unpleasant to snuggle up to, right? It's not just me, right?

'HOLD ON, SPIDER MONKEY.'

The speeded-up vampire running! The vampire baseball! Amazing! ([livejournal.com profile] pinkegogirl observed that Bella was standing right behind the batter, so had they missed the ball would have gone straight through her head. And then Edward would have eaten her. Weeping.)

Edward's face when he was glomming onto Bella's arm was utterly ridiculous. HIS GOOGLY EYES. I know it was supposed to be a dramatic moment, but I just couldn't stop laughing.

Speaking of googly eyes: ahahaha, Jasper's face.


The film could have done with more Alice; she was something I actually really liked about the book. However, the film did have things I genuinely liked. Here are a few of them:

James was pretty terrifying. I was inwardly laughing at the daftness for quite a lot of the film (and outwardly laughing when Edward started sparkling), but I'm not going to laugh at James. Please don't hurt me, James.

The other Cullens were great! I loved their excitement at actually being able to cook for someone. AND THEN EDWARD RUINED IT BY SAYING THAT BELLA HAD ALREADY EATEN. I AM NOT HAPPY WITH YOU, EDWARD.

The flashback where Carlisle turned Edward could have gone under 'ridiculous' for the faces Edward made, but I decided to put it here because it was also sort of sexy. YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE.

Also great: Charlie. I didn't really notice him in the book, but in the film he was completely amazing. I almost wept for him when Bella was fleeing Forks. That's right: I almost wept at Twilight. I am ashamed of myself.

([livejournal.com profile] sazzlette has the theory that Charlie is an ex-hunter; his wife left him because of the hunting, so he gave it up, but she never came back. [livejournal.com profile] pinkegogirl has the simultaneously even better and so much worse theory that Charlie is actually Bobby. Thus making Delaware and Bella siblings. [livejournal.com profile] wanttobeatree and [livejournal.com profile] sazzlette hate this theory, which just makes me want to write about Bella joining Sam and Delaware more.)


Overall: better than the book, but not good enough to disappoint! Hurrah!

[identity profile] th-esaurus.livejournal.com 2009-01-04 01:21 pm (UTC)(link)
The flashback where Carlisle turned Edward could have gone under 'ridiculous' for the faces Edward made, but I decided to put it here because it was also sort of sexy.

That was my sole lingering thought about Twilight, sadly.

[identity profile] pornontoast.livejournal.com 2009-01-04 01:48 pm (UTC)(link)
I thought she acted like a bit of an arse to her ~new friends~! I swear she never smiled, not once. And she always had her ipod in and skulked on her own.

[identity profile] misplacedmarble.livejournal.com 2009-01-04 02:04 pm (UTC)(link)
At first I wasn't bothered about seeing Twilight because the book frustrated me with how bad it was, but now I'm getting more and more curious...And you completely pinpointed one of the reasons I found Bella so annoying in the book - that she has no interest in making friends with people who aren't haughty sparkly vampires. *strangles her*

So now I just need to find someone to go with! XD

[identity profile] misplacedmarble.livejournal.com 2009-01-04 07:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, dear, I've persuaded someone to see Twilight?

Don't worry, you're probably only heading for the first circle of hell. :P
Edited 2009-01-04 19:36 (UTC)

[identity profile] layered.livejournal.com 2009-01-04 02:06 pm (UTC)(link)
And then Edward would have eaten her. Weeping.

I almost spit out my tea. xD

[identity profile] anazri.livejournal.com 2009-01-04 02:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Reading this makes me feel far more optimistic about my upcoming trip to the cinema. :D I would be very disappointed if the film didn't make sparkly!vampires as entertaining as the book did.

[identity profile] thrennion.livejournal.com 2009-01-04 02:17 pm (UTC)(link)
I do agree with you on many of those points. The Cullens, save Edward, were fabulous and much creepier than I expected them to be. If you want to, have a read of my review-ish-thing, which pretty much says what I would say in the comment.
The sparkling. Am I the only one who thought it just looked like sweat? And... am I the only one who was just "meh" about Twilight?

[identity profile] wolfenkahlon.livejournal.com 2009-01-04 08:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Bella's hatred of everything!

Wait... Bella is Bonecrusher? Quick! Someone check whether Bonecrusher hates Sparkly Vampires!

[identity profile] honeymull.livejournal.com 2009-01-04 02:40 pm (UTC)(link)
I only have friends here who think the Twilight books are the greatest novels ever written, and they really wouldn't take it kindly if I sat there in the theater convulsed with glee/horror while they were moved and touched by the film. So, uh. I have yet to see the damn thing. Bah.

[identity profile] honeymull.livejournal.com 2009-01-04 02:41 pm (UTC)(link)
PS: Yes, my friends kind of suck in the "what is quality literature" area of life. I knowwww. *shoves them all in a closet*

[identity profile] dracothelizard.livejournal.com 2009-01-04 03:20 pm (UTC)(link)
I never got Bella's immediate dislike of all the kids at school. They're trying to make her feel welcome and included! They're being nice to her! SHUT UP BELLA.

Also, I heard New Moon has blank pages to symbolise the emptyness of Bella's soul without Edward or something. Is that true?

And I can say that I've tried snuggling up to marble because yes, it does sound unpleasant.

Also, I am not going to see this movie unless I can do it for FREE like I did with the book.

"James was pretty terrifying."

Seeing as I have never finished the book, I will assume this is about James May. Or, since he was terrifying, possibly James Sunderland.

[identity profile] dracothelizard.livejournal.com 2009-01-04 05:26 pm (UTC)(link)
That is just utterly lame and ridiculous and a waste of paper.

Well, that James can be terrifying if he wants to be.

[identity profile] moogle62.livejournal.com 2009-01-04 03:54 pm (UTC)(link)
That turning scene was indeed v. hot. Hottttt.

I loved the Cullens! I am fairly ashamed of myself for reading the books, but a little rubbish part of my soul enjoyed them unabashedly, despite the writing and the unsympathetic characters and, er, the sparkling. VAMPIRES, OKAY, I BLAME THE VAMPIRES.

I liked Victoria in the film about 100000 times more than in the book. I think it had something to do with her pretty, pretty hair.

Needs moar Alice though. :DD

[identity profile] moogle62.livejournal.com 2009-01-04 06:19 pm (UTC)(link)
At least i recognised that they were quite truly terrible! I know my shame is shameful! (Does that make me less of a bad person?)

[identity profile] saaski-moql.livejournal.com 2009-01-04 06:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Your review makes me laugh harder than the actual prospective of watching the movie myself.

[identity profile] wolfenkahlon.livejournal.com 2009-01-04 08:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, that's it, I'm going to be making that post of sparkly vampires who should not be sparkling now...

Although it did lead to the horrifying revelation that I am Bella Swan, which I could have done without.

We'll cover a marble statue with glitter and send it to you... if you fall hopelessly into love unhealthy obsession with it... er, you're doomed?

What is it with characters named James?

[identity profile] pinkegogirl.livejournal.com 2009-01-04 10:23 pm (UTC)(link)
OH GOD WHEN WILL IT END? I HAVE BEEN MAKING TWILIGHT JOKES ALL WEEK NOW. THE SKIN OF A KILLER?

also, susan&james went skating today. on sparkly ice.

[identity profile] gulliblesnail.livejournal.com 2009-01-05 05:53 am (UTC)(link)
I've only seen the movie, so it always blows my mind a bit to learn that this is the version of Bella who appreciates her friends. I mean!

She doesn't even consider treating this as an opportunity to actually go out with a friend and have fun. Jessica, who does view Bella as a friend, is just a tool from Bella's perspective.

Holy crap! But I loved loved loved the Cullens getting all excited to cook for a guest, and Jasper and Alice were adorable!

Oh gosh, seriously, Charlie! Also this movie made me ship him and Jacob's dad. Is this doomed?

[identity profile] amy-wolf.livejournal.com 2009-01-05 08:34 pm (UTC)(link)
I am fully prepared to give the Eleventh Doctor a chance, in case that was not clear! He wasn't a choice that particularly excited me, but I don't know the guy, so perhaps he will be the best Doctor ever. Perhaps! I am sort of looking forward to finding out.

This was exactly how I felt, until nos told me he has eleven toes. I am now unreasonably excited. Eleven has eleven toes! How awesome is that?

As for Twilight; I want Alice to go on an episode of Top Gear, discuss driving around Italy, get into the "Porsches are awesome!" "No, they're rubbish!" argument, and completely ruin things for Jeremy during the news by jumping in to their "Is car any good or not?" arguments and going "No, that one will be horrible. That one will never go into production. And that one you said is the worst invention in the history of wheels? It's a bit ugly, but it drives like a dream. You'll be proposing marriage this time next year. I could help put together the wedding if you like? I love doing weddings, and I'm very good at it, as my sister-in-law who won't be appearing because she bores the author can attest. I've never done a wedding between a human and a car, but a bit of creative tailoring should take care of things."

[identity profile] harveytheayeaye.livejournal.com 2009-01-05 11:22 pm (UTC)(link)
These were pretty much my thoughts :)
I went to see it with two boys (my bff and my brother) who were convinced it was an action film. So because of general lulz (and ontd_twatlight) I spent the entire film laughing, and then spent most of it looking like "what is this fuckery?"

Book-Bella is crap, especially in New Moon. "oh noes, it's my birthday, it's the end of the world". Ungrateful cow.

Supernatural/Twilight crossover. Needs to happen.

At the risk of sounding like a squeeing fangirl, your entire post made me lol, especially
Edward's face when he was glomming onto Bella's arm was utterly ridiculous. HIS GOOGLY EYES. I know it was supposed to be a dramatic moment, but I just couldn't stop laughing.

Brilliant.

[identity profile] faenel.livejournal.com 2009-01-10 07:26 pm (UTC)(link)
"THIS IS THE SKIN OF A KILLER."

Oh dear god, convulsing with laughter. xD

(Anonymous) 2009-01-10 08:01 pm (UTC)(link)
I am, in fact, Jo. I decided I actually needed to pick a name at some point, and in a moment of insanity, I entered a fanfic exchange with this name, so I figured, hey, what the hell.

You may have almost convinced me to watch Twilight. I still want to get my hands on a copy so that I can give a DRAMATIC READING at the Tolkien Society.

May I friend you?

[identity profile] faenel.livejournal.com 2009-01-10 08:03 pm (UTC)(link)
SIGNING IN. THAT IS ALWAYS GOOD. *thwaps self*

It took me three tries to post this.