Tales of Riona's Family: once upon a time, my father went into a McDonalds' bathroom. They had, he noticed, installed rather fancy new urinals: stainless steel, set into the wall.

There he was, happily pissing away, when another man walked past.

"That's a sink," the man said.


On the subject of public toilets: if you have a room full of ladies, in case ladies are required, and you wish to put a sign on the door conveying this, how do you word it to avoid the mistaken assumption that the door leads to the ladies' toilets, rather than simply to a room containing ladies? 'Room Containing Ladies' is a bit clunky. 'Ladies' or 'Ladies Room' obviously wouldn't work. 'Lady Room', whilst not usually used to signpost a lavatory, could be taken for an attempt at 'Ladies' Room' by a grammatically challenged signwriter.

This is genuinely the sort of thing I think about from day to day. I was pondering this a little while ago, and eventually asked reipan for help. She suggested 'Ladies Within', which I think is rather delightful.


You know what would be amazing? A rewrite of the Twilight series, with Sharpay from High School Musical in the role of Bella. She would severely test Edward's resolution not to kill, not by smelling delicious but by constantly pursuing him and forcing him to sing upbeat duets with her. I would laugh incessantly.

("And the best part is you already sparkle, so we don't even need the sequined outfit!"

"Please leave me alone.")

Oh, yes, and of course she would demand that Edward turn her not because she wants eternal life but because she wants to glitter in the sunlight, ignoring Edward's protests that vampires have a responsibility to hide their existence. Also because being turned into a vampire makes you super hot. Not that she's not super hot already, obviously, but being a little more fabulous is never a bad thing.